Its been a while

My how time has flown! Its been a long time since I have posted and that is because my life has gotten increasingly busy. Today that has not changed but I finally came across some things I just needed to get off my chest and into the minds of whoever happens to find this blog.

Parenting is hard. As a parent you are responsible for forming the minds of new human beings. Children are an amazing opportunity to improve the world we all live in. It is a privilege to have children. Kids were not sent to us to make our lives easier or to take a burden from you, they are sent to learn on how to become men and women. They are sent to us to learn to love, to forgive and to be patient. They for sure need to learn how to run a dishwasher and wash their own clothes and put them where they belong but they are not servants or maids or live in Nannies.
I don't know how many parents out there have that mindset but honestly if even one family operates under the assumption that children are convenient slave labor than it must be stopped. I honestly don't really know how parents like that live with themselves. I feel guilty when my kids miss out on playing a card game or watching one 20 minute show before bedtime because it took them an hour and a half to clean their 8x10 bedroom that is not overflowing with toys.
I am truly trying to understand the thought process here. Does it work like a frog boiling? A little bit here and there and all of a sudden you wake up one day realizing that you treat your kids like a maid service? Or does it come from some innate selfishness? The idea that the world revolves around you is pretty extreme but what about the idea that your household revolves around you? It seems like maybe an acceptable thing - everyone is entitled to their own way of living and seeing things  but let's look at the consequences of that kind of thinking.
Any time you want quiet time every one else is expected to be quiet.
Okay, this one is not so terrible IF there is consistency. If you want to have 15 minutes of peace and quiet when you get home and everyone in the family is aware I have no issues with that. But to just randomly announce that every one needs to shut up because you want to watch something on TV is just selfish. Kids are noisy. They need to let that out on occasion and since there are ever growing lists of times and places where noise is unacceptable don't create another one just for a TV show. Most people have this magical device called a DVR that allows us not only to pause live TV but it allows us to record our fave shows so that we can watch them when are children are otherwise occupied or even asleep.
I work all day and shouldn't have to work when I get home
Somewhat true-your kids should learn to clean up after themselves but that does not mean they should be washing your clothes and putting them away on a regular basis nor should they be your personal chef. Now sure, there are teens out there who enjoy cooking but to EXPECT them to make YOUR food is not okay. Helping peel potatoes and mashing them when they are done- acceptable. Making the entire meal, plating it and sitting there with the kids while you sit on the couch watching the TV is NOT.
Babysitting
I think that having a "built in" babysitter in the form of an older sibling is fine but must be appreciated and treated as a temporary situation. If your child is constantly "babysitting" for you-work, dates, shopping, alone time, errands and TV time it is no longer babysitting it is parenting. The bottom line on this one is if you are home your "babysitter" is not responsible for the other kids. Period. You are the parent and they are your children and no matter how many hours you worked that day you chose to have them and you need to be responsible for them.

Here is a test: If the thought of your oldest child(ren)going on a sleepover makes you panic a little and you think to yourself "but that means I will have to do so much more" than that means that you rely to heavily on your children. Kids need to have time to have a childhood. Adulthood comes way too fast and once that happens that is it. We will never know the same innocence and worry-free attitudes that we had as kids. As a parent it is our job to protect that and do our best to help them enjoy every minute of that childhood peace and obliviousness. Selfish are the parents who drag their children into such high levels of responsibility so that they don't have to do so much themselves.